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  • Writer's pictureWayne Barnett FCA | MIPW | STEP Affiliate

Deathly Humour: Jokes From a Will Writer

Updated: Mar 15, 2023

Death is no joke, but as with most situations in life we can find an element of humour in the inevitable. We hope you enjoy our light-hearted humour section!


Hear, hear!

An elderly gentleman had a serious hearing problem for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of state of the art digital hearing aids that allowed him to hear perfectly.

The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor after a month and the doctor said “your hearing is perfect. Your family must be delighted that you can hear again”.

The gentleman replied “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”


The property magnate

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife, three children and nurse stood close by.

Then he spoke his final wishes:

“James, you take the Aphrodite Hills houses”.

“Nicholas, you take the Kings Mall shops”.

“Joshua, the apartments at the Limassol Marina are yours”.

“To my dear wife, Anne, you take all the residential buildings in Kato Paphos”.

The nurse was really impressed. She said, “Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.”

The wife responded, “What property? … the schmuck had a window cleaning round!”


The resurrection

A British couple were holidaying in Jerusalem when unfortunately, the wife passed away unexpectantly.

The local funeral director quoted £500 for a local burial, or £5000 to be repatriated back to the UK.

The husband opted for the dramatically more expensive repatriation. The funeral director enquired as to the reason the husband was prepared to pay 10 times the price of a local burial, to which the husband replied: "Some 2000 years ago a man died and three years later came back to life - I can't take the chance."


The reading of the Will

A lawyer was reading out the Will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the Will:

“To you, my loving wife Lucy, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and €2million.

To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and €1million.

To my cousin Daniel, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my Will – well you were wrong. Hi Daniel!”


What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

At least the accountant knows he is boring!



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